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When 2023 comes, the truth shall be known by all and sundry. They shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free. My true colours shall be unveiled for the world to see. Nothing shall be hidden from the people, low or mighty. Whether poor or rich. Whether weak or powerful. Whether connected or not. Nothing shall be hidden from them. Everything shall be put on the table. 

When 2023 comes, nothing about me shall be hidden, no matter what anyone does. This is because under the sun, nothing could be hidden. Nothing is actually hidden. Nothing would be hidden. Nothing should be hidden. Nothing must be hidden. There would, should and must be sunshine on me and everything about me, because it would be my time.

When 2023 comes, it would be the time for people to know that I attended St. Peters Primary School, Aroloya, Victoria Island, Lagos. The world would be informed that I also attended St. Paul’s Elementary School Aroloya, Lagos Island, Lagos. It would be confirmed that I attended St. John’s Primary School, Aroloya, Lagos. Nothing would be held back. 

When 2023 comes, the world shall find out how my primary school (s) have no physical address on the surface of the earth. The confusion about my primary education would become more complicated. The truth about my ability to operate like a spirit, attending non-existent schools shall be told to the world. Every bit of it, every detail of it shall be brought to the fore to sell my candidacy and convince the voters.

When 2023 comes, the world would come to know the truth that I attended Government College, Ibadan. Yes, that is my School. That is the High School, I attended. We call it the G. C. I. You can’t know that unless you attended that school. Only those of us who attended that school know that. I am very proud to be an ex- student of that school. The truth about this part of me shall be told to the world.

When 2023 comes, you would not have to worry about the fact that I never had a single classmate when I attended the GCI. Yes, my GCI, our GCI. A great school. A school with great history. You would not have to worry about the fact that when I attended the GCI, I had no Principal or Vice Principal or Housemaster of Gamesmaster. That is part of the truth about me, that the whole world would come to know.

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know that I had no teacher throughout my stay in the GCI. Not when I was in Form One or Form Two. Not when I was in Form Three through Form Four to Form Five, I had not a single Teacher. I just went through the school like a ghost, unseen, unknown, unfelt. I was a poltergeist. I was a phantom. I couldn’t be fathomed.

When 2023 comes, the truth about my University education shall be told to the world. The truth about my Chicago University and or University of Chicago shall come to be known. The sun would shine on my academic trajectory in that wonderful city of Daley dynasty. I have appropriated a nickname as a result of this truth. People call me “Chicago” now. It is a nickname that I am very proud of. I have a lot of history in that City. The world shall come to know how ambidextrous I have always been. 

Chicago, that glorious city that was once trotted by Al Capone, the king of the underworld, taught me a lot of lessons. It was a perfect place for me to learn political chicanery and charlatanism. It is part of my truth. It is part of what I have become, a crooked and criminal political dealer. So far, I have proved to be a good student, gallivanting as a gory gale across the Yorùbá nation.

When 2023 comes, the world shall be reminded about how six governors of the State of Illinois where Chicago calls home have been charged with crimes during or after their governorships; four were convicted, and of those, one Rod Blagojevich was the first to be impeached and removed from office. The world shall know about the City when I learnt the ropes to be so mindless and crooked. With this, everyone would appreciate how I became a mercantilist politician, employing crooked means for criminal political ends. I learnt in Chicago. That is why I am so successful.

When 2023 comes, the world shall be told about my escapades in the world of medication. How I made my illicit money selling ordinary medication, shall be brought under the klieg light for the world to see, to know and to properly comprehend. The world shall be told how the United States Government tried to prosecute me and how I “Plea bargained” to avoid going to prison and forfeited some money. 

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know that I am the first man in modern history to be too rich to resort to the use of bullion vans to carry my illicit money, regardless of the fact that it is against the law. The whole world shall come to salute me for being above the laws of the land and being a distinguished unscrupulous political dealer. I learnt in Chicago, remember that always.

When 2023 comes, it shall become officially pronounced that like my heartless, greedy, soulless brother, Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire, I am richer than the state. This is regardless of the fact that I have no visible and verifiable means of income. The world shall come to know the truth that I am truly the landlord of Lagos, and how I have acquired all the properties through fraudulent means and robbing the people blind.

When 2023 comes, the world shall be regaled with the trajectory of my name bearing, how like a chameleon, I have been changing with ease, bearing different names at different times to suit the weather, the day and the context. The world shall come to know about my escapades at Kudeti in Ebonyi State. All that I ever did would be brought to the knowledge of the world.

When 2023 comes, the world shall be told how I have subverted the moral virtues of the Yorùbá nation, elevating frauds and crooks like me into limelight and political offices to fleece its people and destroy the infrastructures. It shall be told how I have rigged elections in the State of Oshogbo to install my nephew and intimidated the people into silence and acquiescence. 

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know my true age. They would be told how my nephew is 63 years old and his Mother, who is my immediate older sister is three years older than me. The world shall find out that I have been using false age all along and that everything packaged about me has been a fraud. The world shall find out that not a strand of me has a scintilla of truth or honesty. 

When 2023 comes, it shall be told in unburnished terms, my roles in bringing the Yorùbá nation to its knees, making it dysfunctional with my foot soldiers rampaging the treasuries of the Southwest States, with the hospitals becoming slaughter slabs, industries dying, education decaying and everything becoming disjointed, while I and my cronies get richer.

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know about my sinister plans to destroy the House of Awo. Yes, the House that Awolowo built by hiring professional revisionists, morally calcified, intellectually compromised, hungry writers to attack Mrs. Dideolu Idowu Awolowo. It shall be told to the world, how I deployed my paid media hirelings to attack the heroes of the modem Yorùbá Nation, those who gave their sweat, knowledge, energy and other endowments to build the Yorùbá nation which I am consciously and deliberately leading into slavery.

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know how my cronies planted flowers across Yorùbá land at the cost of billions to defraud the Yorùbá people calling such, achievements. The world shall know how one kilometer of road that cost a little over N400m in other states was costing over N1bn in Southwest States and yet was not durable and becoming death traps within months of its completion. All the roles I played with the connivance of my cronies across Yorùbá land shall come to the knowledge of the world.

When 2023 comes, it shall be told, how, because of my ambition, I have handed my Yorùbá people into the slavery of Fulani hegemonists, securing my place in History as a perfect replica of Afonja, the man who caused an Emir to rule in a Yorùbá city of Ilorin instead of an Oba. Already, I have allowed a Fulani Emir in Lagos. I have completed, by that singular act, the subversion of the Yorùbá nation and the subjugation of a great race, the Yorùbá race. The world shall come to know how I have betrayed the confidence and trust of my Yorùbá people, over and over, by never being there for them at their greatest times of need.

When 2023 comes, the world shall be told the truth about my willingness to sacrifice my people, their husbands, their wives, their children, their families for my political ambition. It shall be told, how nothing is too sacred, how no Institutions is inviolate, how no life is precious, how no friendship is sanctified, how no crony is indispensable on the altar of my ambition. 

When 2023 comes, the world shall come to know that no amount of blood is too much to be spilled, no amount of destruction would be too much to wrought on my Yorùbá people, no price would be too much to pay for my ambition to be realized. My Yorùbá people are created for me to use according to my whims and caprices. I don’t care for them. They know it. They now know all the tribulations I have brought to bear on them.

When 2023 comes, my role in installing the greatest tragedy on the Nigerian State to foster misery, tears, gnashing of teeth, hunger, want, squalor, agony, death, insecurity, social discombobulation and entire season of anomie shall be told to the world. Book by book, page by page, paragraph by paragraph and line by line, all my contributions to the destruction of social, economic and political instability of Nigeria in general and the Yorùbá nation in particular, shall be recorded for the world to know.

When 2023 comes, the truth shall be told, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about me to the world. I would make sure of that. The world shall come to see me as truly as I am – a fraud, a liar, a fake; duplicitous, greedy, amorphous, unreliable, untrustworthy, treacherous, traitorous, perfidious and fatally dangerous to contemplate.

When 2023 comes, my Yorùbá people shall see me in my true colours. They shall get to know finally that I am not worthy of their trust;  that I would always use and dump them; that I don’t care about them except when usable for my ambition and that they have been believing in a mirage all along. That beyond myself, I have no plans for them or other Nigerians, whatsoever.

When 2023 comes…

Opinion

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Remi Oyeyemi

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